Under the Bodhi Tree

The thing you need to know about our family unit is that we occupy very different roles. Our roles, however, all come down to serving one person, Bodhi.

Deedra, as you might have suspected already, is a planner, a scheduler, a practical realist. I am in constant awe of how much she is able to accomplish in a day. I, on the other hand, am a dreamer. I start conversations with I have an idea or What do you think about….?

So one day I said, “So what do you think about living in England for a year?”

To my surprise Deedra–without trepidation–was all in. 

Here’s the thing about dreamers: they dream big and often and then those dreams are followed by doubt. Plenty of doubt. An avalanche of them. Chief among them: I’ve never traveled to the UK. I’ve traveled plenty. Traveling is an obsession. I spend my days thinking about travel. I make itineraries for places I want to go to. I check prices for hotels and plane tickets. I research food. I research food. I research food. Food, food, food. My son and food are the center in my life. And Deedra, too, I guess. At the height of Covid, when travel was not an option, I suffered. I stayed up all night–no sleep for weeks–dreaming of the places I wanted to go but couldn’t. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. 

Now that travel was viable again, I went all in. So what do you think about living in England for a year? 

But doubts. Fears (I’ll talk about some of them in later posts). And so much anxiety. 

This wasn’t a vacation. This was a yearlong stay. We needed a home. We needed a school for Bodhi. We needed to know places to take Kenyon students. 

So in the beginning of January, after a two-week trip to Thailand with Bodhi (part of another blog post where we spent three days in a hospital), I decided to fly to England. One of my besties, Jon Chopan, was running a study abroad trip in London at the time. Jon was instrumental in getting my very jet lagged brain and body going. He knew London. He knew the tube. He knew where to eat. Because he had a couple of days free, he accompanied me to Exeter so I could visit schools and meet some of my future colleagues. Sometimes, when you are traveling to new places, it’s good to have a pint (or four) with someone you know at the end of the day. Jon was that someone.

My impressions of Exeter: 1) it’s very hilly; 2) and really quiet at night; 3) and I felt  immediate love. I knew I could be here. Live here. I’m a city boy. Born and raised in Chicago. I commute an hour to Kenyon College because I need urban life, need Asian grocery stores, need museums, need choices. Exeter was a city. Not Chicago. Definitely not London, which is frenetic in the best ways. But it had everything and then some. 

I decided on a place we’d call home–the cottage in our first blog post. Why the cottage? 1) it is surrounded by coffeehouses; 2) a Thai restaurant is across the street; 3) it is near a toy store that sells everything, including Pokemon cards; 4) it’s right next to a candy store for our sugar rush needs. In short: it’s in the center of things. 

Over the next couple of days, Jon and I walked all over Exeter. We went from school to school, talked to principals and teachers, trying to find a good place for Bodhi. Deedra scheduled all the school visits from Ohio, and every single one of the schools were on opposite sides of the city. By the end of the day, Jon and I accrued 30,000+ steps and climbed the equivalency of 58 floors. My legs were noodles. I was sore all over. (BTW, get a foot massage in London; it was heavenly!) Jon walked and smoked and did not seem out of sorts. I complained and whined. Like a good friend, Jon kept me going. “Let’s go,” “Come on,” and a lot of expletives I won’t write here. 

At the end of it all, when we were on a train headed back to London, after I was asked to not use my phone because we were in a quiet car which I didn’t know, Jon and I agreed–our year in Exeter will be special, a real adventure…

…and Bodhi will flip out because of the toy store.